Thursdays are my usual day off, and as it was a lovely day yesterday so I deiced to go a wee run on my bike. Wasn't feeling quite up to it, had a bit of a cold, but nothing serious, but it took a lot of self persuasion to get my cycling gear on and out the front door.
I really should have stayed at home, curled up on the sofa, watching the TV, nice and cosy.
But I didn't!!!
I got on my bike thinking "once I get going I'll be fine!", and I was fine for a while, but then the hills all seemed to be twice as big as usual and every mile seemed like 10. But I eventually got to Biggar, had some lunch, a wee look about the shops then back to Lanark.
Now I don't know if it was just coz I was tired from my cycle yesterday, or if it was because I have a bit of a cold, or because I haven't been sleeping very well, but I have had one hell of a bad day today! I though I had been coping with my Dad's death quite well. Focusing on raising money for Women V Cancer, organizing fund raising events, researching Kenya and what vaccines I need for going,
but today!!!!!!!!
Well, lets just say I went through lots of hankies this morning, enough said!
Thankfully I'm feeling a little better now, got it out my system, but for how long? Been told grief is like that, one day your fine, the next - your not. So, back to focusing on Kenya again, and raising lots and lots of dosh, coz I know I started raising funds because of the scare I had this time last year, but any breakthrough against cancer is well worth the effort of putting my body through all this training, just as long as it helps in the fight against this monster most of us have come into contact with, we need to find a solution against it!!!!!
Keep going chic. You're doing so well. Grief is also a terrible unwelcome monster but we have to live through it and with it. It shows how much you loved your Dad. It's an evil necessity. Don't keep thongs to yourself. Tall about him or what's bothering you. I'm always here with an ear if you need it. I lost my mum years ago but without her I still feel lost at times. Big hugs x x x x
ReplyDeleteYou're right - grief is like that...it hides, then jumps out and bites you. I lost my Dad just before Christmas and I still haven't got my head round it. A sudden crying attack seems normal to me. And I think it doesn't hurt to have a cry. I always try to think of the happy things about him, so I usually smile my way out of the tears...but it does SUCK!! So don't feel lonely - I know right where you are.
ReplyDeleteAs for cycling when it's freezing and you feel crap? bah - don't do it - wait until you feel better.
But - you're amazing! I haven't even started training yet!! But I got my new bike today woop!
hugs
xxx
Thanks so much for you comments girls, has made me feel so much better xxx
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